| Some fun for us women. |
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May 7th, 2008 ï 8:59pm
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A Little Male Bashing
Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius.
Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A: They don't have time.
Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
A: They won't stop for directions.
Q: Why did God put men on earth?
A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.
Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: It's sex with someone they love.
Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Q: Why did God make men before women?
A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.
Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.
Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.
Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What men know about women.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A: A half hour of begging.
Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?
A: He's breathing
Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A: Government bonds mature.
Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head.
Q: What do men and beer bottles have in common?
A: They are both empty from the head up.
Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: Who cares?
Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.
Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?
A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
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| example of love. =] |
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May 4th, 2008 ï 5:18pm
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Tony had been pretty much missing in action from anything he usually was seen doing, working, talking to friends. He'd just grown pretty close to his daughter and anytime, Milan let him have her he was all for dropping everything and running with it. His plan was to take her off to the zoo for the day, but since it was snowing outside obviously that was not going to be happening. He figured that he could play with her for a little while inside his apartment until he managed to find something warmer to do with her rather than keep them both cooped up in an apartment complex.
Spencer has been gone for quite a while, cooped up in either school work or coming up with new innovative styles. She was kind of missing her friends and the usual activities she was caught doing. Which were usually hanging around at Starbucks or randomly out shopping or clubbing. Clubbing. She missed Tony the most though. It’s been a while since the two reunited. Maybe she should visit him? Maybe he’s not even home. Well it’s worth a shot to try. She grabbed her usual necessities and her jacket as well and headed out the door. Instead of calling she felt like surprising him. Maybe he’ll like his surprise? She trotted down to his apartment and pressed the buzzer to his place before waiting patiently for an answer.
Tony was currently letting Soph beat him up with her baby hits, before they'd both heard the buzzer go off. She jumped a bit and looked a little stunned. "Come on lets go see?" She shook her head and plooped down on the carpet, so Tony went to go and answer the door. He was clad in a pair of jeans and a goldenyellow polo and a royal blue shirt over it only the collar hanging out. When he opened the door and saw the familiar blond, honestly he could only smile. "Heey you. Come in." He told her and pulled the door open.
Spencer smiled softly at the other before stuffing her hands into her dark gray pea coat pockets. “Hey.” She replied as she headed inside the boy’s place. She was excited and pleased to see that he was here. “How are you?” She mused as she headed down the hallway and seeing a little baby girl in the living room. She smiled sweetly at her as she took off her coat and placed it on the nearest seat. She was dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a graphic tee under a multi colored zip up hoodie. She looked back at him, “She’s cute. Very cute.”
Tony nodded taking her coat from the chair she set down on the chair and hung it up. "I know, she must get her looks from me." He chuckled and nudged Spencer before moving into the room and sliding down his couch to sit on the floor with his daughter. "Say thank you, Soph." She just looked up at the other half cocked brow before burrying her face in Tony's chest. "So what're you doin' here?"
Spencer giggled slightly while nodding. “Eh, I guess that’s a little true.” She held up her two fingers to indicate how small it really was. “I bet you she got her looks from her mommy.” She teased before laughing lightly at the baby’s reaction then shrugging slightly. “I wanted to visit you. I haven’t seen you in forever and that’s depressing. Can’t a girl visit a friend she loves dearly? Or is the illegal?” She joked while cocking an eyebrow slightly.
"Yeah, she did." Tony nodded, looking over at her dark brown hair, though facial feature wise, was in a combination of both of them. "I think that it's illegal, and I don't think you want to go to prison at such a young age." He grinned and swatted her thigh softly and pointed at the couch, "Have a seat." He told her before Sophia decided to run- waddle off after his puppies.
Spencer smiled softly at him. “Haha. I win.” She mused as she looked over the features of the baby girl. She then looked back up at him and laughed lightly while shrugging. “Well I guess I’m going to jail? Tell everyone I’ll miss them dearly and to blame you for getting me to jail.” She teased before heading towards the couch and sitting next to him. She took off her boots and sat Indian style on the couch.
"I'll at least come visit you." He offered and smiled and laid his head back at what he figured would have been the cushion of the couch before he sided against it and slid over so he was in front of her and leaned his head in her lap. "Then you wouldn't be all that worried about losing sight of hot men." He snickered and smiled up at her. "I'm glad you stopped by though. I really missed you."
She rolled her eyes while laughing. “Oh that makes me feel a little bit better to know that I already have my first visitor. Plus he’ll keep me sane for not being able to see hot men for a while. You can always bring me pictures of Brad Pitt. That would help a lot.” She mused while teasing him as she scrunched her nose at the other. “I’m glad I came too. You know I was hesitant to come, believe it or not and I didn’t know you’d be home. I really missed you too! A lot, honest.”
"Nah, I don't think you want old men pictures." Tony laughed lightly and licked his lower lip. "Why would you be hesitant to come? You know I love seeing you. We're going to have to stop this long distance in between visits." He chuckled and nodded. "You could have just called too. That always works."
She frowned slightly. “Hey! Just because he’s old doesn’t mean he doesn’t look good for his age.” She mused before sticking her tongue out on him. “He’s gorgeous.” She shrugged slightly. “I know you do. I love visiting you. I’m not really sure. I wouldn’t say I was scared. I just was crazy for a few minutes? I’m not really sure why.” She laughed lightly while nodding in agreement. “Agreed. We really do need to stop that. Nah. I wanted to surprise you. Not call you. Hah.” She snickered slightly while smirking as she started to play with his hair.
"Well, it is the weekend, right?" He raised an eyebrow, "You should stay over tonight. Help me keep her company until her mom gets here...or just keep me company." He said and as soon as he had started to relax into Spencer's touch, the cries of the one year old caused him to sit up and move over to her. Just a miss-step and she'd fallen on her butt, which she usually did and didn't cry unless of course she was wanting one of those good old naps. He pulled her back into his lap and flipped on some cartoons to get her eased. "And I mean if you're into a guy with twenty kids, I suppose he's the perfect guy for you." He whispered and joked.
She nodded in agreement while snickering. “Well that part is true.” She agreed while smiling at him. She then shrugged before nodding. “Yeah I guess I can. It’d be fun. I can get into mommy-mode for a while.” She joked. She moved over slightly to make it easier for him to adjust on the couch with the baby on his lap comfortably. Spencer laughed quietly at that comment then leaned down to whisper in his ear, “Well I guess I’ll be able to deal with the ‘20’ kids if he promises to help. A lot. Like take care for more than half of them.” She joked. “Besides, I doubt I’d have a chance with him. I can’t one up Angie, her lips are way pouty-er.”
"I suppose you could." He told her leaning his head back and looked up at her, " Seriously? Pft. I would never." He laughed and shook his head. "I can handle maybe four at most. I like a big family, but yeat." He chuckled and looked up at Spencer for a moment. He had often thought about actually trying to be with Spencer, but he wasn't positive on it and he wasn't sure and he didn't want to hurt her either, by rushing himself. "Well, you could get those lips if you only tried botox, but I kind of like your lips the way that they are." He shrugged turning his head a bit as she was still by his ear and quickly kissed them before looking down at Sophia again, she was getting that dazed over look.
She giggled slightly then shrugged. “Ehh. It’s worth a shot? But knowing me I might kill myself after a week. But kids are adorable.” She glanced at the baby girl then at the TV briefly before meeting his gaze. She stuck her tongue out and shook her head in disgust. “Yuck. I don’t believe in botox. It deforms your lips and makes them gross and fat not cute and pouty.” She grinned softly at him. “Thanks. I kind of like my lips too.” She returned the kiss lightly before smiling lightly at him. “Now if I had her voice. I’d be set.” She joked.
"So envious." He shook his head slowly before leaning down and placing a kiss on top of Sophia's head. "I guess that means that I won't be taking her to see that Horten Hears A Who movie." He shrugged, "Sorry to say, I'm not really a fan of the Pitts Jolie clan." He shrugged.
Spencer shrugged slightly while smiling innocently. “What can I say? I like a lot of things.” She frowned slightly. “Awe that’s sad. I heard it’s a cute movie. Take her another time. I’m sure she’ll enjoy it.” She snickered slightly before raising an eyebrow. “Eh. I wouldn’t say I’m a fan of them together, but I like them separately. They’re good in the acting business. Plus they’re cute!” She mused as she placed a finger on her lips.
"Yes, yes you do. I better be one of them," He chuckled and moved to get up careful not to wake her up when he noticed that she was sleeping. He moved toward his room and laid her on the bed building a border around so she couldn't fall off of it if she rolled. Anthony didn't hate on anyone's acting, and it wasn't that he hadn't liked them when he met them, he just ... something didn't rub properly. "I suppose so." He said when he walked back out to where Spencer was.
She snickered. “Don’t hate! Of course you’re one of them! I’m envious of your cuteness. And your job is pretty cool too.” She nodded in agreement to herself before lying across the whole couch as he got up and went to take care of his daughter. “Of course I make sense. You’re just weird when it comes to celebrities.” She let out a loud huff as he returned. She pouted slightly; she was comfortable in her position and didn’t really want to move. “Do I have to move?” She whined before pouting at the other, trying to hold in her fits of giggles.
"I'm not cute." He made a face up at her, and raised a brow. I am rugged and manly." He joked, his face dimpling in a smile at her before he looked down at the ground. "I just feel bad for them is all." He shrugged. "I'd hate to get followed around all day everyday with a damn camera in my face." He shrugged, "No, you don't have to." He shook his head and turned toward the tv before flipping it on to something else.
She laughed lightly at that response and shook her head slightly. She then rolled her eyes through her giggles.
“Of course you’re cute. Manly and rugged? I think not. You wouldn’t hurt a fly. Which makes you ten times cuter.” She mused while grinning at the other. She huffed loudly. “Well that part is true. But that’s the consequences about being famous. You get stalked. Forever. Quite annoying I’m presuming.” She shook her head as she slowly got up and patted the seat beside her. “Nah. I decided to move. Now sit next to me!” She snickered slightly.
Tony just listened to her as she went on before she moved, he turned over and climbed into the spot pulling her over into his lap so that she sat straddled into it. "You just like to be difficult, that's all." He told her by passing all of the coments on celebs. He didn't feel like reliving it all or thinking about it so moving on was the best way.
She raised an eyebrow at him before crossing her arms over her chest and pouting. “I am not difficult. And I don’t like being difficult. I’m far from it thank you very much.” She huffed loudly before turning around facing the TV while still on his lap, pouting. “What are we watching?” She asked in confusion to what is going on TV. She rarely watched it so she didn’t know what’s on and what’s not.
"See! You know that you're difficult. If you don't like being difficult it must mean you know you are." He teased and kissed her temple lightly. "It's okay, pumkin head. I like it." Tony laughed and leaned his head back against his couch, "And I don't know, I was talking to you, and foster's was getting on my nerves."
She turned around and faced him, before poking him in the head. “Na uh. If I say I’m not difficult and I don’t like it. That means I don’t like and I’m not. Obviously.” She snickered slightly before grinning widely at him. “Awe thanks. I’m glad that I now know my head is a pumpkin?” She teased while laughing. “Ehh it’s okay. Who needs the TV to entertain us??” She raised an eyebrow while smirking slightly.
He swatted at her hand and grabbed it lightly biting her finger. "No poking, missy." He pointed at her, giving that infamous chuckle of his. "You're welcome, it's not a pumpking but it does have that little lopsidedness to it like those things." He teased her before catching sight of her raised brow and comment. "Oh? Do you have something else in mind?"
She frowned then pouted at him while massaging her hand. “Well then no biting mister. That’s mean.” She whined as she frowned even more. “Hey my head is not lopsided. It’s pretty.” She grinned. “You’re just jealous you jerk.” She snickered slightly then shrugged. “Ehh I didn’t have anything in mind, I was just making a broad generalization hon, you assume.” She stuck her tongue out playfully at him.
"No I don't assume. I simply asked a question." He told her and grinned licking his lower lip. "I said do and do implies my asking if you did? Not that you infact did have something on your mind...yet." He smiled and kissed her lips long and soft.
She raised an eyebrow. “Sure sure. You didn’t assume.” She rolled her eyes while laughing lightly. “Yet. Hah! That’s funny because that is one hundred percent true. And I hate it when you’re right.” She smirked slightly before returning the kiss softly, closing her eyes slowly. “Are you sure we should be doing this?” She inquired with a cocked brow.
"Doing what? I only kissed you." He chuckled and looked up at her and then down. "But, I think that you're right, we shouldn't do thi-" His attention went to the door buzzer when it went off and his pups started going haywire. "Shh!" He put his fingers to his lips at the dog before he got up to go answer the door. "What now?"
“You know what I mean.” She scoffed slightly at him. “You kissed me but kissing turns to making out which turns into other things that I highly doubt we should do.” She turned her attention to where the buzzer noise was coming from and slowly got off of the other while sitting on the couch Indian style rolling her eyes. “Go get the door. I’ll wait here.” She mused before sighing deeply and sliding into the couch getting comfortable.
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| 002+ |
[
February 15th, 2008 ï 4:46pm
] |
I wanna make you holler
Imagine us together
Don't be afraid to play my game
Boy don't you hesitate
I won't keep waiting for you
To come and let me take
You to my fantasy room
You're gonna like it there
And all the things that I do
I'll treat you right
All through the night
We can do anything
I'll take you all the places you wanna be
I'll take you there, I'll take you there
I'll be your fantasy
Everything you want you will find in me
If you play my game yeah
I wanna make you holler
And hear you scream my name
I'll give you rules to follow
So you can play my game
Imagine us together
Me driving you insane
You will give into me
Don't be afraid to play my game
So what you gonna do
Now that I've got you with me
You've gotta show me boy
Cause nothing comes for free
Start from the bottom and
Work your way absolutely
Don't be afraid to play my game
We can go all night long
Doing things you thought you would never do
I won't tell anyone
What we do it's just for me and you
So come and play my game
I wanna make you holler
We can go all night long
Doing things you thought you would never do
And I won't tell ya
I won't tell anyone
Cause everything is just both for me and you
But you're gonna play my game yeah
I wanna make you holler
And hear you scream my name
I'll give you rules to follow
So you can play my game
Imagine us together
Me driving you insane
You will give into me
Don't be afraid to play my game
-Spice Girls
^Love this song. =P
Gah! I'm so pumped and on an amazing high! But not by anything illegal. More like by the SPICE GIRLS! Yes I went to the Return of The Spice Girls Tour and it was AMAZING! To say the least. The concert was amazing the spice girls are amazing. I have found an all new respect for Scary Spice after her whole kinky rapage to a poor unsuspecting fan. Very funny. But Posh Spice is still my favorite. Hah. You gotta love her. Married to David Beckham, good fashion sense and super SUPER posh-like and that's what makes her so funny and loveable.
I bought so much shit at the concert too though. I mean I spent 129 dollars and that is CRAZY! But it was so worth it. Now I can rock my spice girls shirt and this is what it looks like. I love it. And my other miscellaneous crap I bought. Surprising enough the Spice Girls weren't only presentable but they actually performed and sang really well for being mothers and all. I'm so tired though. The aftermath of partying. Hah. My ears are ringing, I have a massive headache, I practically lost my voice, my back and neck hurts but it was definitely all worth it. If I could, I'd go back in time to watch the concert over again. I'm definitely buying it when it hits stores on DVD haha.
What depresses me is that Baby Spice supposedly went to prison? I highly doubt that's true but maybe it is. Very ironic I think. But who knows. Valentine's Day was pretty whatever. I hate my Valentine for ditching me! You big jerk and a half!! I'm really hungry .. but extremely lazy. Haha. I won't move and my stomach is grumbling like no tomorrow. That's pretty sucktastic. I think I'm gonna get me some grapes.. Allie you need to visit like NOW! =D
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| 001+ |
[
January 5th, 2008 ï 5:29pm
] |
So lately I've been really depressed and blahhhh. It's kind of gross if you ask me. Everything has been going wrong. I have major 'designer's block' and I'm going crazy with all this shit I'm getting from college. I feel like I rarely have any time to eat.
I'm going crazy. I think I'm diagnosed with insomnia but I don't know. I'm like a friggin owl. I stay up all night and then conk out when the sun comes up. Plus people are missing? Well not missing. More like not here and of course they're the people I talk to the most.
I miss my bestie and my mafia buddy and my Godzilla hater.. And lots of other people too. Lately I've been stuck hanging out with Bret and he's dumb. =P Kidding~
On the bright side, I did meet a couple of new people that seem fun. I hope I'm right.
I'm hoping that soon something would spark my creative juices in my head to start flowing and I can make some new Spencer Originals. That usually cheers me up. The beginning of this year has been crazy so far. I'm hoping it'll change soon..
~*~
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